Sometimes I miss my youth, a time when I thought I was the center of the universe, and judged shamelessly and mercilessly...those were the days. However, the universe has knocked me down a few pegs since then, as it should to all assholes.
Before I continue on, I would like to make it clear that I am the type of person that can dish it out but can't, under any circumstances, take it. I'm at peace with that. Therefore, as I make fun of someone's clothes, comments, or overall personality, please note that you can't do the same to me. I know that seems unfair; but, because I acknowledge this about myself, it's fair. Trust. You do NOT want to see me when I have hurt feelings. I am like The Hulk, except instead of turning into a huge monster, I transform into a giant whiny baby and annoy everyone in my path. It's been known to kill. I MUST feel amazing, have all my demands met, and be allowed to judge others AT. ALL. TIMES.
Because of this fucked up paradox I insist on living inside, my end result is a personality that is both insecure and overly confident. It's a challenge, but I've made it work. Like I said before, my age has helped. Learning to keep my mouth shut and give nasty looks to the concrete floor instead of to other humans took great discipline. A discipline that is tested everyday.
Yesterday, for example, I was in a tea shop. I like to think this tea shop isn't overly pretentious, but more of a tea shop for the people. They are helpful, and they don't expect you to know everything in the world about tea. Unlike this other place I went to, that shall remain nameless, that made fun of me when I looked down at my first ever cup of to-go loose tea and asked "why is there a napkin in this?". It wasn't my fault. I didn't understand that it was actually a large loose tea bag. How was I supposed to know that? Why do they look so much like napkins? And why would they just give me this weird napkin tea to steep myself? I obviously don't know what I am doing. Steep it for me, Tea Wench....
Anyway, I walked into the Tea Shop of the People and what immediately happens? An older woman, one that was trying to dress Boho but really looked like an insane hippie, had the AUDACITY to give me a dirty look just because I interrupted her conversation with the clerk to ask one tiny question!!! I wouldn't normally interrupt, but she was very intent on sucking all the oxygen out of the room by discussing what loose tea tasted like when she drank it with Jesus at the Last Supper; and all I wanted was to know the tea of the day....It was Pom-Tango, by the way.
As if her stupid eye roll and her stupid moon earrings weren't enough, she had a weirdo email address. I know that doesn't sound like anything offensive, but because she insulted me by insinuating I was rude for doing a moderately rude thing, I was out for blood.
So after the clerk politely told me "Pom-Tango" and redirected his attention back to the old woman, he asked her to verify her email address for her rewards card. To which she replied: "Olddragon21@insanehuman.com" (note the numbers and email service have been changed).
I looked up at the clerk, burning a hole in his forehead with my gaze, hoping for that delicious second of eye contact that said "Is this woman fucking real? I'm so glad we are on the same page about how unread this woman is...We are super normal though! *Telepathic high-five!*", but to no avail. He didn't look up at me. He didn't even flinch. It was as if he heard shit like "old dragon" all the time. He just started typing it into the system, without skipping a beat.
Now here is my question. What am I supposed to do in this situation? So many things were going through my head, and I couldn't say any of them. Not being able to belt out "Are you kidding me?!" left me with a lot of anxiety. It was the most stressful Tea of the Day I have ever received. And now here I am, 24 hours later, still really upset about the Tea Dragon. I just don't see how it's fair that we both move forward with our lives, completely uninterrupted by conflict; being happy with who we are and the choices we make, when there is so much left unsaid.
But I guess that is where we are now.
LD
No comments:
Post a Comment