I am sure, at this point, everyone has read at least 1 line from the book "Don't sweat the small stuff". People, especially Americans, are very high strung. As a result, we need a book to tell us not to get worked up over receiving the wrong coffee order; or from buying a new shirt at Forever 21, realizing they forgot to take off the plastic alarm thingy, and having to go alllllll the way back to the mall (worst).
We need a book to help us through these things because we need to buy things to feel better- so, in order to hit two birds with one stone, we buy the book. This makes sense to me. This is a culture I understand. However, I am now living in a culture full of things that I don't understand. And I realize that the reason for that is because Israel "doesn't sweat the small stuff"
For example, I have this boyfriend, let's call him Zachi...because that is his name. So, "Zachi" often says that we will go out for dinner, but then eats a meal an hour before we go. WHAT.THE.FUCK. I don't know about you, but where I come from, if you are going out to dinner, you save room all day, you wait until you are really hungry, and then go out together for the fun/miserable experience of waiting for a table while you are both starving. Is that not how romance is done? This seriously enrages me. I never know what his pre-meal really means. Does it mean that he changed his mind about going out? Does it mean that he wants to go out, but doesn't want to eat dinner? Does it mean that he just doesn't want to spend a lot of money so he will get something small? And, also, what does all this mean for me? What do I do? Do I eat something too? Do I stand strong and do the right thing by starving myself until we go?
Obviously, it causes a lot of anxiety. And what is his response to all of these vital questions?...
"Don't worry, I will probably eat again later." Uhmmm what? Probably? As in, maybe? As in 60-ish% chance?
I'm sorry but that is NOT the way you do things. If anything you have a small snack before you go out to dinner; not an entire meal. And, excuse me, but what does "later" mean to you? Because I thought that we were going out in an hour.
What a monster.
All these concerns may make me appear unbalanced; but if you had been there, if you had seen it, I know that you would have felt the same...which is the same way all those sane woman felt after they killed their husbands in "Chicago".
However, in the same regards, Israel doesn't really seem to "sweat the big stuff" either.
As many of you know, Israel recently signed a cease-fire with Gaza after 8 days of rockets and explosions. 8.DAYS.OF.ROCKETS.AND.EXPLOSIONS. It isn't exactly light stuff, but I can't even count the amount of Israelis that told me to calm down. Every one just went about their daily life like everything was fine. 1 minute the siren sounds and everyone is running for shelter; and in the next minute, they continue whatever it was that the flying bomb had the audacity to interrupt.
But not me. No way. I stayed mortified for the entire 8 days. I barely left my apartment or slept. And I expressed my unease in every way possible- anger, sadness, being drunk. Whatever it took. I can proudly say it took years off my life. No one can take the American out of me that easily.
Now, the very same boyfriend that eats before we go out to dinner, also doesn't seem to worry when a siren goes off in his hometown. During that 8 day "war" I was on the phone with him when I heard a loud alarm in the background. He heard it, and calmly said he would call me back in 3 minutes...
Now let's all think about this. If a rocket is flying at you, should the last thing you say be "I will call you back in 3 minutes"? Because, I mean, WILL you call me back in 3 minutes? Or will it be 10? Or will it be never? It isn't the same thing as having to pee. Sure, they have some similarities. They are both emergencies. But, they are not the same. I really didn't appreciate his cavalier attitude.
When he called me back 3 minutes later, I asked why he didn't say that he loved me and would always love me no matter what. He said, and I quote, "I will say that if there is ever a need"
Ok.
Soooooooooo a rocket flying at your city doesn't express some type of NEED to say that? Because, frankly, I have seen some romantic war movies..fine, I haven't seen them, but I have seen the trailers; and I am pretty sure that is the EXACT time you need to say it.
I don't know, Israel, it wouldn't kill you to worry yourself to death with anxiety and despair like I do. Think about it. Whether you sat around worrying all day like I did, or you kept on going with your daily life, the results were the same. So, wouldn't you rather survive the experience and be able to say "yes, I had the appropriate human reaction to my country being bombed. I am not repressing dangerous emotions".
..I think the answer to that is yes. You would.
I hope this was as good for you as it was for me,
LD
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