High School Reunion

As my 10 year high school reunion approaches; I find myself, against my will, wanting to go more and more. I recently reconnected with an old friend that forced me to remember that I had friends in 2004. I have been telling myself for years that the girls I am still close with now were my only friends back then, and that I don't need to go to the stupid ass reunion, but that isn't the case. So, after reluctantly deciding that I have to go, and coming to terms with the fact that I was going to pay a shitty amount of money to fly to Syracuse during a holiday weekend, I decided to finally look on our reunion Facebook page. A very large part of me, basically all of me, wishes that I had looked at the page sooner; because this entire time- as I was agonizing over paying the money to fly because I am too scared to drive, and my husband has to work so he can't chauffeur me- I thought it was going to be on a Friday. If I had just looked at the information, like a normal person, I would have realized it is a Saturday.

So, now that I am going, I have decided to do nothing else but concentrate on this event for the next 2 months. As we know, my wedding just ended, so I am going through event planning withdrawal. The president of my class can be expecting multiple, anonymous, emails from me both helping and hindering the event planning process. But I will leave the easy stuff to her. What I need to know, what I think we ALL need to know, are the answers to the following questions:

A. which ladies, and I will just be frank, plan to act like a total bitch? You know, get all clique-y, give everyone dirty looks, separate the baby havers from the career havers- because Lord knows you can't have it all. That kind of stuff.
B. Who, of all the girls in our class, is going to diet, exercise, and find a super tight dress- the type of dress that is in no way appropriate for the venue? Who is going to try to look as hot as humanly possible? And what exactly are we talking about? Atkins? Weight Watchers? Cross fit? P90X? For how long, at what intensity? Details. Please.
C. Who is going to act like a douche bag by thinking they are better than everyone else? And how? Are you going to wear your best clothes? Bring your trophy wife? Hire someone to be your wife/husband? Eat only the healthy food and then judge everyone else? Make a scene about the lack of speciality beers?
D. Who is going to pretend to have an amazing life, just to make everyone else feel small? Who will pretend their job is more important than it is? Who will act like their trip to Peru was more enlightening and awesome than it actually was? Who will have the balls to say that they have already achieved all their dreams? Tell me. Now.
E. And, most importantly, who is going to start a riot because you passionately feel that the reunion should take place at Tully's Good Times Restaurant and Bar? Those are the people I want to meet up with.

I really, really need to know these things. Because if this is just going to be a hottie contest, I need to step up my game. And if we are all going to pretend to be awesome, I need to start creating a good story; so I'm not stuck rambling about being a successful business woman in the Post-It industry.

I think, for full disclosure, and for the sake of all my classmates, it's important for you all to know that I will be participating in activities A-D. And I will be leading activity E. I know that seems shocking and rude; but, I am doing you all a favor. It's not a reunion without someone who is willing and able to do at least 1 of these things.

And please...no one fall in love with me just because I am going to be the baddest Tully's Loving Bitch.

LD