I have been working full time for the past four weeks. Despite my previous claim to stop working; I basically got a job the very next day. Well, not basically. That is exactly what happened. The desire to go shopping was too strong. It's the ultimate struggle between achieving my goals and buying the latest trends. Either way, because of work, my life has been crazy boring; and, when something exciting finally graces me with it's presence, I am usually too tired to care. It's the saddest life I have ever known.
This resulted in my posting to Facebook, begging for blog ideas. Someone said "there's a huge election going on- good material"; to which my reaction was..."there is?!?!"
...okay, so I knew about the election before that moment, but only because my co-workers were talking about it. Truth be told, I had been spending a majority of that day trying to figure out what we were supposed to be voting on. I'm not proud. I am not sitting here claiming to be proud. It's just true. Neither myself nor my husband (sorry to throw you under the bus there) had any fucking clue what was happening. I am sitting here now, trying to think of some type of excuse for this complete and utter ignorance. I mean, I saw the "turn out for what" Rock the vote video with Lil John and Lena Dunham. What did I think that was for? Why did I think they were doing that? I just figured that Lena was being her amazingly talented, annoying, activist self; and that Lil' John was a secret activist. And all those famous people just liked saying things in music videos. It's pretty hard to explain why Lil John's "It's November 4th, I'm voting midterm elections" bit didn't register with me. Looking back, that line makes the whole thing pretty clear. And he said "Midterm elections" 3 times in the first 16 seconds.
There were also multiple election signs hanging around the East Boston area; but, in my defense, East Boston never takes down their election signs. I thought that they were the old ones.
I feel pretty bad about this whole thing. I would like to say that after November 4th, after secretly not knowing what was happening for days, things got better for me. I would LIKE to say that. However, the next day, as I entered the beloved YMCA, the guy at the front desk (the one that always insists on making 6:00AM small talk) said "Barker and Coakely are pretty close, huh?". And, in my mind, I heard "Barker and Copley are pretty close, huh?"...
Let's take a moment to think about all the ways this could end badly for me...
The most important being that Copley is a train station on the Boston T; one that I know very well due to it's proximity with Forever21. The only thing that saved me from responding to his political question with Boston geographical information was that I had never heard of "Barker Station". It goes without saying that I had definitely never heard of Coakley or Barker the humans.
As the man waited for a response from us, my husband shot me a look that said "you tell him! You know the Boston train system better than I do". And I shot him a look back that said "where the F is Barker Station?!". As the opportunity for normal human response time closed, I blurted out "I don't know", in an attempt to salvage our conversational dignity.
Finally, after what felt like 20 minutes, Small Talk Front Desk Guy said "I heard they were pretty close in the polls"... I was mortified. In the exact same moment, my Husband and I figured out what was happening. We were NOT talking about the same thing as Front Desk Guy. NOT. AT. ALL.
I tried to scrape up whatever integrity was left of us from the dirty lobby floor. I thought our best bet was to nod and silently walk towards the stairs; away from the man and the conversation. But the silence wasn't enough. I could feel Front Desk Guy waiting for a response. I was ready to completely ignore the impulse to respond and continue on our way, but Marco had other plans. I heard him take a deep "I am about to say something" breathe and, before I could stop him, he said "May the odds be ever in their favor".
That Gorgeous idiot quoted The Hunger Games.
...front desk guy didn't say much to us after that. Must not be a big Katniss Everdeen fan.
Sorry, America.
LD
PS: I read someone's Facebook status that stated he would be angry if someone that hadn't voted had the audacity to talk to him about politics. I want to put his mind at ease and say, to the world, that I solemnly swear to never care enough about politics to talk about them. Even when I remember to vote. I will, however, voice my opinions on gay rights, animal rights, women's rights, and global warming; because they have nothing to do with politics.
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