Size Matters

If you opened this blog post in hopes to read about penises, then your mind is in the gutter, and shame on you...embarrassing. Grow up.

Before I go any further, it's important to understand that I am a shopaholic. I love buying clothes, it's my second favorite thing. My first favorite thing is eating. Each activity has a place with each emotion I'm capable of feeling. I eat when I am stressed, depressed, or emotionally injured in some way..or hungry. I shop when I am happy, feeling healthy..or whenever I feel I need a new thing..which is always. Everyday. New things everyday.

Sadly, due to a diet that has sucked the life and soul out of my body, I haven't been able to stress eat; so shopping has been my outlet- which is REALLY REALLY unfortunate. I have so many new dresses and jackets that I am not even sure I like them all. My bank account balance is negative a billion, and I can't afford basic human needs. If it weren't for my fiancé,  I would 100% be living in a box surrounded by new jackets and dresses with the tags still on them.

Throughout the past few weeks, I have been observing myself spend hundreds of dollars, and have seen a couple of patterns:

1. People in stores such as The Loft and Franchesa's know who I am..by name...we are friends.

2. People in stores like Urban Outfitters and American Apparel REALLY don't want me to wear their clothes because I am short and old. So when I go in there, people go out of their way to NOT help me. Which is interesting to see. And that's fine, because I hate their clothes anyway. No thank you to skin tone leggings that show the outline of my privates combined with a crop top..am I right??!

3. I am an honest to God size whore. The "it doesn't matter what size you are, wear what flatters you" theory is completely lost on me. My mother has told me my whole life to "get a size up because it will shrink" or "get a size up because that looks terrible", but it fell on dead ears. Between size comfortable and size 4, I always get the 4. I choose the smaller, less comfortable thing, and then I never wear it because it's not that comfortable. EVERY. TIME. Yesterday at Target I thought to myself "hmmm, maybe I should by this maternity sweater in an XXS"............I know. I didn't even like the sweater. And it was for pregnant ladies. What was my goal? To be the smallest not pregnant, pregnant lady around?

It's a disease. I have a drawer full of size 4's that fit but would be more comfortable in a 6; and a closet full of sweaters that would be more comfortable if I had the figure of a teacup dog.

Do I think my size measures my worth? No. Obviously it is my awesomeness and my prettiness that measures my worth. And honestly, just because the best day of my life so far was when I had to get my wedding dress taken in, doesn't mean I place too much value on my size....

OK..yes...I am seeing the problem now...

It goes without saying that I am part of an epidemic and this isn't my fault.


BYEEEEEEEEE

LD