Graduate school smaduate school.

I have spent the last 5 years feeling anywhere between slightly and completely confused. When I was in college, I was awesome. I felt very on-top-of-the-world-esque. I had great friends, a passion for my major, boys liked me when they were drunk- life was good. However, after I graduated, I fell apart a bit and got really lost, and remained lost. Being lost for 5 years changes a lot about a girl. Over that time I became less outgoing, less social, and way less self-assure. I felt like I was awesome still, but no one really cared or noticed; and that eventually turned into feeling like I was wrong about myself, and I just wasn't awesome. I mean, I took multiple MBTI personality tests, and they all told me my personality was the best kind, but I just didn't' feel that way anymore.

Feeling less amazing than I usually did put a lot of things out of whack. I thought "if just the people in College Bubble thought I was great, then maybe I had been living a lie?' I mean, I was pretty great at my major in school, but in the real world I felt like I couldn't compete. Because I couldn't. Because, apparently, everyone but me figured out how to be 82 places at once and had 2 degrees and 45 internships under their belt by 22.

I didn't, at all, try everything to get my shit together, but I did try some things. I applied for meaningless jobs just to, hopefully, find a full time career to gain a new sense of self. I traveled to other countries to regain the unique and awesome girl persona, which helped a lot (at least in my mind)- but in the end I couldn't do it forever. After that, I toyed with the idea of graduate school and even found myself applying.

I applied to 5 different graduate schools in New York and Tel Aviv while I was living in Israel, and I got into 4 of them, and I attended 0 of them. I didn't go, mostly, because I had to apply almost an entire year in advance- how was I supposed to know if I would even want it by that time? With my personality, I probably wouldn't have wanted it anymore. Plus, it costs 6 billion dollars. Now, luckily, I can say- at the peak of yet another awesomeness streak- that I did the right thing. And here's why: I am not engaged to a rich guy…… Just kidding, he isn't rich. The real reason is because I recently got a promotion. A promotion that my experience got me. A promotion that a lot of Master Degree Holders in my field don't have. I got it because I am awesome, and a little annoying. And once I started to get in touch with how great and annoying I can be, it became an unstoppable force. I got a promotion because I saw a need, created a job, and hassled my boss about it for 4 months. I would like to see a graduate class teach THAT type of persistence.

The moral of the story here is: you don't really need graduate school. Not unless you are going to be in charge of people's lives or be making things that can collapse or explode. Lawyers need to go to Law School, which is not the same thing. And everyone else should have to go to a speciality school or just be left alone to be apprentices. Teaching, cooking, building, drawing, writing, public speaking, leadership, being a stay at home daughter/son, etc can be taught and learned through experience.

I am not saying "don't go to graduate school", I am saying "don't go to graduate school unless you have to". And even if you have to, try to find a way out of it. Like, moving to a country where you can do the same job and don't have to go to graduate school. Or, if you are white, just go to Asia; everyone will assume you are really good at English, even if you're French, and you will be golden.

You're welcome, youth of America.

LD